process reflection

still from 811 animation
  1. Did I spend time on the right things? If not, how will I improve next week?
    • i put effort into rehearsing and preparing for an event that could have become and ignominious failure. meredith (aka Systems Poet, aka The Witch of Endor) and i practiced reading selections from our 811 zine, via Zoom, via Signal video calls. i organized the program and lined up 3 great readers to share their own work. i had all of my equipment ready, my laptop was cleaned up and ready for show mode, i completed a short animation that plays with the publication’s typographic elements.
    • the official zine launch was planned at a bookstore’s outdoor garden space. but, it was cold. it began to drizzle. then pour. i noticed this while having a pre-event whiskey to calm me down at a bar nearby, BierWax. BierWax’s patio was covered… after a brief chat with the kind barman, Jimmy, i decided to pivot and move the event to the bar, with whomever bothered to show up.
  2. What were 3 significant achievements for the week, related to my project?
    • i’m proud that i didn’t give up, nor did i let emotions of failure arise. with an audience of 6, not the 40-50 we expected, i managed to shine my energy and effort into making the event as good as it could be for those who were there. i bought a round of drink for all, meredith bought. we performed, we raised our voices above the sound of rain drumming on the plastic patio awning. we did it.
    • i just looked through some grant opportunities and identified a couple i may apply to.
    • i made one sketchbook drawing, after a long hiatus.
  3. What was the biggest lesson I learned this week?
    • recognize your growth! a few years back, i would have felt humiliated or at least embarrassed by the low turnout and cancelled venue. i see now that i truly value what is showing up for me, in the moment.
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