i am an early-stage investor in my creative work. i pay for my own materials, from laptop to pencils. i rent my studio, i set aside time. recently, i have had the opportunity to spend much more time tinkering and bringing projects to fruition. steadily moving forward without knowing exactly what the goal is. i… Continue reading value
Author: aya
epigraph
The story is not all mine, nor told by me alone. Indeed I am not sure whose story it is; you may judge better. But it is all one, and it at moments the facts seem to alter with an altered voice, why then you can choose the fact you like best; yet none of… Continue reading epigraph
<160 [PRAYER of no hiding]
there is something i must face:i will looki will stare hard.first one to smile wins.
another one
it happened in the desert. the desert is a good place. you can’t get away from yourself and you certainly can’t belong. life is wet and the desert is dry. a hot wind rose and swirled around me, the folds of my ears shaping the silence into a whistle. the sand, the isolated clumps of… Continue reading another one
isla margarita
the sea is in the air and the salt is in a clump. i pump the shaker with all the vigor i can muster, but the clumps release just seven grains onto my dish. i’ll have to make those crystals count.with my attention on the salty, i had let the conversation slip by, they have… Continue reading isla margarita
dinner downtown
how could we know whether they genuinely favored us, or if we were simply useful to them? we had dinner with them more frequently than with our friends; extraordinary japanese meals where no dish was repeated: yam gelatin, pork belly, matsutake mushrooms, mackerel sashimi, fresh homemade tofu. the drinks, on the other hand, were always… Continue reading dinner downtown
Before breakfast
Before breakfast, the coffee must be poured. Two scoops of roasted beans in the grinder, a banshee in the corner transcribes the screeching and spitting of the blades. The contents are mangled into a soft, fine powder. Cold milk would never do, in its refrigerated state it has the power to change the taste of… Continue reading Before breakfast
what is yellow?
we’ve been trying to find out. is there really such a thing? itch that skin, sugar drop. walk like your thighs love spandex, chemical compound-laced threads smick-smacking through the tall, tall grass. what is alive and how do you wrap it around your wrist; yellow is the knot that won’t slip. it swings through, leaving… Continue reading what is yellow?
don’t be too long, now
if you have the word “chaos” in your email address or username, i don’t think we’ll be acquainted. sick abed, i shouldn’t pick out the bad seeds, but just eat all the people, pop ‘em like candy. when they’re out there on the scraggly lawn eating tacos and the occasional radish, i’m wiping lily pollen… Continue reading don’t be too long, now
next time
after the half-fiasco of the final family vacation, i feel a little lonely to be by myself again. not enough to plunge me into grief, more like dipping my toes into a shallow puddle of despair. i built myself a nice shield to repel the steady rain of negative comments from my older siblings, and… Continue reading next time